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05/04/22(Wed)03:36:57 No.56919

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Why does it take longer to run from second base to third base than from first base to second base?
Because there’s a shortstop between second and third.

Why is a batter like a horse’s tail?
They're both flyswatters.

Why don't chickens make good baseball players?
They can only hit fowl balls.

Why is bowling called a quiet sport?
Because you can always hear a pin drop.

What can you serve but not eat?
A tennis ball.

Why is a football called a pigskin?
Because most players like to "hog" the ball. Get it? HOG the ball!

What did the bucking bronco say to his rider at the rodeo?
"Get off my back!"

What kind of dog is a fighter?
A Boxer.

What kind of dishes does baseball players have?
Home plates.

Why is it always cool in a football stadium?
Because it's full of fans.

Where is the biggest diamond in the world?
Yankee Stadium.

How do witches play baseball?
They use their bats.

What do eggs and a losing team have in common?
They both get beaten.

What do quarterbacks like on their sandwiches?
Pass-trami.

Who brings presents to basketball players at Christmas?
Center Claus.

What has 18 legs and flies?
A baseball team.

What did one fish say to another after it was hooked?
"That's what you get for not keeping your mouth shut."

What did the ballplayer get for hitting the ball out of the park?
A home run.

What did one football say to another?
"People get a kick outta me!"

A girl was hit in the head at a baseball game. Guess what came out of her mouth?
A bawl.

What do a bat and a flyswatter have in common?
They both hit flies.

Why didn't a single man get a hit at a baseball game?
Because only married men played!

Who can go as fast a racehorse?
The jockey.

Where do hungry football players play?
The Super Bowl.

What kind of ends do you find in libraries?
Bookends.

What do you call a sweaty basketball player?
A hot shot.

Where are the most outs made in baseball?
In the outfield.

What do basketball players do when they're happy?
Court-wheels.

What football team can't win?
The Oakland Waders.

What are a basketball player's favorite flowers?
Guard-enias.

Where do guards throw the guard-enias?
Into flower baskets.

Why did the baseball player take a mitt to the beach?
To catch some rays.

When did the Sun play baseball?
In the All-Star game.

Why do happy ghosts play basketball?
[spoiler]Because they're high spirited.
[/spoiler]
Why do people like basketball players?
Because they're court-eous.

What sport do thunderclouds like best?
Major Leak Baseball.

What do the Oakland A's hit with?
Alpha-bats.

What did the batter sing when the storm broke?
"I'm Swingin' in the Rain..."

Which baseball players trot around the bases?
The Philadelphia Fillies.

What do the Philadelphia Fillies eat?
The Oakland Hays.

Who can start a fire by rubbing two baseball bats together?
A baseball scout.

If a baseball field floods, how do the players get around?
In dugout canoes.

What football team can really move the pigskin?
The Green Bay Porkers.

Where do cows play foot-bull?
At the Super Bull.

Who blows the whistle at foot-bull games?
The heiferee.

Where do centers grow?
In center fields.

What sport do cows like to play?
Foot-bull.

What do baseball players put on their sandwiches?
Ball-oney.

What do basketball players snack on?
Turnovers.

Why do baseball coaches go to art museums?
To look for good pitchers.

What sport do bakers like to play?
Biscuit ball.

What did the referee give the quarterback?
A pig pen-alty.

When pigs play baseball, what do they want to win?
The pig pen-nant.

What do you get if a sick basketball player breathes on you?
Hooping cough.

Why did the coach take away his players' credit cards?
To keep them from charging.

What do you call a game between the Celtics and the Westside Elementary Fourth Grade All-Stars?
A Boston Massacre.

What did the batboy want to be when he grew up?
Batman.

What football player likes to spend money?
The shopping center.

Where do batter-flies come from?
Batter-pillars.

What's skinny, full of ink, and makes you lose fifteen yards?
A ballpoint penalty.